Just Keep Swimming

Overall, I have enjoyed this project. It was fun seeing how much I can take away from myself and still survive. I have learned that I am able to still do my daily things only eating some rice, which really isn’t as much as I thought it was going to be in the beginning. I have also learned that I am one of the most stubborn people I know, I don’t give up once I say I am going to do something. Even though there were many days when I wanted to give up (kind of like today) and when my body needed food to get energy but I just keep on going telling myself I can do it. Which I can do and did. I now know what it is like to have hardly any food to eat and still have to go on with my normally life. I kind of thought that I would get to not do as much as I did while eating normally but time doesn’t stop or slow down just for me. The world I guess doesn’t just go around me and my wants and needs. I still had to walk to school, unload the dish washer, clean my bathroom and attended all of my classes. There were many days when I just wanted to go home and not talk to anyone but I had to get over that because everything in this world just keeps going so I needed too. I don’t know how people in third world countries do this every day for their whole life. I would probably at some point get used to it but it would be hard to go on every day hardly eating. I need food in me to keep warm in the winter months and to help me keep up my energy so that I am able to sit in class and not sleep. Food in any culture is important but I think in our culture it is more important than others. We need food for parties, for snacking, and really for staying warm. But in Africa they don’t need food to stay warm but food to help their bodies stay strong so that they can go on with their daily lives. That means they won’t be eating as much as we would be over here, but at the same time I still think we eat way to much then waste way, way too much.

The Last Supper

Today is it. I am finished tonight at midnight, I did think about staying up until then and once the clocked changed to November 1^st I would start eating. But that seems a little crazy and like I am completely focused on food. Which I am not, this project so to understand what it’s like not to have food so I am going to wait until breakfast comes and then eat. Tonight is my last supper of rice and stir fry. I still like rice but only with sauce and other things than the normal stir fry I have had.

The last day I thought would be the easiest but it’s not. I am hungry and have been counting down so my body knows that it is the last day and that I will get to eat again. So it is calling out for food and I am very tired. I had energy yesterday but today that was all taken from me. I am just wanting to sleep the whole day away and not do anything. However, I cannot do that since I have school today.

Breakfast, Lunch and Supper

Yesterday my parents and I went out to Strasbourg for breakfast with some super great friends. They had pancakes, blueberries and bacon while I watched them only drinking water. For lunch we went to the farm and I got to eat, there was rice and many other things I would have loved to stuff my face with but I didn’t since it was my second last day! By supper time we were still at the farm so we stayed for supper as well. Then I really got to eat, there was chicken, peas, carrots, potatoes and of course RICE. It was a wonderful day and it really didn’t bug me to be watching others eat good food while I was still with rice and water. Probably because I know it is coming to an end very quickly, today is my last day. Plus it’s Halloween!

During the whole day, I was being asked if I was okay watching people eat and for me it has become a reality. My family at home and friends at school eat in front of me all the time. If I hadn’t become okay with it, I most likely wouldn’t have made it all month only eating rice but since I am very stubborn and determined there was nothing else for me to do but live with it. Now that this is almost over I realize that I have become even more determined and probably a little bit more stubborn (if that’s even possible). If I am going to do something I am going to do it right and as best I can. There is a poster in one of my class rooms that says – If you have time to do it once poorly, then you have time to do it again right. That is so true for me, I don’t want to do something not to the best of my ability then have to go back and do it over again. (Mum please realize I am not talking about vacuuming or unloading the dish washer right now)For the amount of time it took me to do something poorly, it would have taken me the same amount of time to do it right the first time. That is what I am going to try even harder to do now, everything right the first time so that I don’t disappoint anyone else but really so that I don’t disappoint myself most. I haven’t disappointed myself with this adventure, I am very proud of myself for going a whole month only on rice. Not many people I live around could say they have done that.

There's a Light

The end is in sight, only 3 days away now. But this past week has went by just a little slower than most weeks since I am counting down the days until I can eat again. I have planned out what I am going to do on November 1 and then re-planned it many times, just so that I have the best first day back ever. This month will stick with me forever, never to be forgotten.  I know or at least pretty sure that my stomach has gotten smaller, how much smaller? I am not sure but I probably will not be able to eat as much as I could have before. Frankly I am kind of alright with that. I am a snacker but now my snacks can be more healthy because I have tried all these yummy veggies. I am beyond excited about this being over, I know that it was a good thing I was doing but it’s wasn’t the most fun thing I could have done for a month. There were many other things I could have done for my spiritual growth project but of course I chose one that is strange and different.

Some things I have learned during this month is that the amount of food we eat and get in restaurants is way too much. Our portions are more than enough for one person, but our culture tells us that we have to eat that much and that it’s normal. However, for most of the world it is not normal to eat so much and waste so much food. I made it through most of my day on two average size bowls of rice; getting protein at supper was truly a blessing. By supper I was getting hungry and needed something to help me stay strong and alive. But again it wasn’t a mass amount of protein, just enough to get by until morning for my next bowl.

Hello Again

So it is coming to an end. I only have this week left to get through. But I think with the ending of this it’s almost as if I am a baby about to learn how to eat again. Learn what it’s like to have real whole food.  After mainly a whole month without it, there is something strangely exciting about eating. Not only because I have missed my food but because during this time I have tried many new foods and wonder what my eating habits will be like once I can eat again. Will I snack as much? Will I eat as much at each meal? All of the what if’s are getting into my mind and making me super curious.

Last night was hard. There was no reason for it to be hard. It just was. I wanted food and am getting tired of not being able to eat. I just want food. I think it would be easier if I was actually not able to eat, like if I had some disease where I wasn’t allowed too. That would make this way easier but then again I would probably never get to eat again after that so maybe not.

Always Snacking

October first came as a bit of a surprise to me. I had been writing up my proposal for my rice eating adventure. However, I still hadn’t put that much thought in to it. At least not as much thought as I would have like walking into a month of only rice. I should have had a plan, with saying that I don’t mean I wasn’t prepared because I was fairly prepared just not in the right way. I was physically prepared, as in my fridge had the right kind of food in it and ready for me to eat, but I wasn’t as mentally ready, as I should have been. I hadn’t thought it through and done enough research to feel prepared and really know what I was getting myself into. But thankfully I can come up with reasons and thoughts about this adventure fairly quick when asked ‘what I was doing and why I was doing it’. Now with only 10 days left, I know exactly what I need to say to people when asked about my rice. But with saying all that, I do feel like I have learned things.
Firstly, I would NEVER give up my food again (now, that I have said that I probably will at some point). Anyways, the amount of food people in third world countries eat is actually a lot of food. It is plenty for me to eat. But we, as in North America, eat so much and are always snacking. Food is a must with everything we do. It’s kind of like we find food we want to eat then plan our events around the food. To me now, that is very sad. Not everything needs food; we don’t need to always be eating.
Secondly, my family and I have actually saved quite a bit of money with only buying the little food I need and the amount of food my parents need to eat. Our fridge is not as full and neither are any of our cupboards. This is a good life style change and it’s actually possible. Before this I would have never thought I can go without eating after school, between classes and whenever I am bored.  But now I know I can. I know I can live off of only three meals a day and they don’t have to be crazy big meals either. They are smaller amounts than I would normally eat but still healthy and satisfying.
I have been eating other peoples meals for 19 days now and can now understand why we shouldn’t waste food. After eating the same food over and over again, it can get fairly boring. When we waste food, it is like telling someone in a different place that we are better than them and have the right because of where we live or who’s family we are in that we don’t have to finish. But honestly, we should always finish our meals because you never know when something might happen where it could be your last real meal.

The Movies

Saturday and Sunday were both easy days. I just sat at home hanging with my brother, watching movies and doing homework. I wasn’t hungry but that’s probably because I was busy thinking about other things. But I did get a lot of homework done thankfully.

Many people have told me that the first few days of fasting are very hard but after you get past that it’s not bad at all. I am guessing it is the same for me and giving up most of my food but rice. After the first week was over, I was fine. My body has adjusted and no hunger pains. For that reason I think I would probably be very good at fasting since my body had an aright time adjusting for this.

The rest of this week has also been very easy. It’s as if I have been doing this my whole life. Like its normal the amount I am eating. However, for me normally it is not. But I guess my body has just made the changes it needs so that I will survive. Many people also have told me that I lost weigh but frankly I don’t think so we will find out at the end when I weigh myself again what has actually happened in my body over this past month.
I have started a count down. There are only 10 days left. Since I had already planned to go to Saskatoon and visit a friend or two. This means I will be taking Friday lunch through Saturday lunch off.  It will be a nice break to get me through the last 9 days. I am getting more and more excited every day for November 1. I have big plans for that day, it will be great.

Brittany

Again yesterday I had to be at school by 7:15 for a secret project with my good friend, Lody. So, I missed breaky but frankly I wasn’t hungry. I wasn’t even cold, which is normally how I can tell that I am hungry even when my body isn’t telling me I am hungry. So, I got up and went to school. By lunch I still wasn’t hungry but did eat a little. My toes were cold but only because I was in flip flops and it was cold outside.
A teacher came around giving cookies to the ‘Green Team’ at my school. I just so happen to be on the green team, so I took my cookie. But I didn’t eat it. I gave it to my dear friend Brittany who is in psychology with me. She’s pretty cool and loves cookies.

Beginner Baker

Today, I came home from school and decided I was going to bake cookies. A good friend of mine and I started writing notes to each high school teacher this morning, tomorrow morning we will put the note on the teacher’s desk. And now we will put the note on the desk with one or two cookies!! Just because we love our teacher’s at Regina Christian School that much J

I love cookies but I love cookie dough even more. But I can’t and won’t eat it. I am not allowed to eat if for another 18 days. WOW! Only 18 days, time sure does go by fast. I won’t know if my cookies are even good but really it doesn’t matter if they taste good because that’s not why I made them. I made chocolate chip cookies because I want my teachers to know that what they are doing is amazing. Frankly, I wouldn’t normally want to teach my class but they just keep coming back. The second sheet of cookies are in the oven now. They are kind of flat but that’s okay. I’m a beginner baker!

I am still not hungry. I haven’t been hungry for the past few days. I missed lunch yesterday but that didn’t seem to affect me. Then I missed breakfast today because I had to be at school very earlier. But yet I am still not hungry. It is strange really. But I guess my body is alright with the change I have brought.

Lunch Maybe

I wasn’t hungry on Monday and now Tuesday I am still not hungry. I am wondering why my next hungry pain starts. Frankly I would love if I didn’t feel any more hungry pains but it does worry me a little that I am not hungry at all. I am not hungry or thirst, is my body just understanding what is happening? Or is there something more going on inside me? I would really love any answer from my body but how to get that answer is a bit more difficult.

I didn’t eat breakfast this morning but I did make rice just in case I was hungry by lunch, however I am not feeling hungry at all. I don’t think I will be hungry by lunch but I will eat a little just to keep my body working and warm.

Thanksgiving

My family went out to our cabin this Saturday morning. Once we got out there I realized how freezing cold of a weekend it is going to be. I did pack some warm clothing but with my thin blood it wasn’t enough. I was freezing cold, so I let myself drink tea, I know I said only water but I didn’t want to get sick so I need to stay warm.
Thanksgiving is a special time of year, where families come together and have a wonderful meal together being thankful for everything that has happened that year. I love thanksgiving and getting together with friends and family and eating some of the best food I’ll have all year long. Once I actually started to think about it. I realize I wouldn’t be overly thankful or friendly to people on Sunday (at Arlington the Thanksgiving Banquet was on Sunday night). I would be eating rice and my stir fry while watching 250 other people eating stuffing, pumpkin pie, and all kinds of salads plus turkey. It was a tough decision but I decided that I would be able to eat all day on Sunday.

It was a wonderful day, I got up and had cheerio’s, bacon, milk, coffee, chips, cake and grilled cheese all before supper came. I was mainly eating all day long. But after the kind of week I had I figured I needed a day off and what better day than Thanksgiving.  I really enjoyed having a day off and it help me realize how much I love food and how badly I actually missed food.

Today I am back on food but i haven’t been overly hungry yet. It’s possible I eat too much on Sunday that I would be super hungry for a few days which is totally fine by me. The hungry pains aren’t fun so if they don’t want to come back that’d be great but I am sure the hungry pains will but if its just not for a few days that totally works too.

Day Dreaming

Today my mind was completely filled with dreams of November. Only 24 days left and well I can’t wait. The last day of this adventure will be a day of feeling very accomplished and proud of myself. But the next day I will feel even better. Knowing I can eat whatever I feel like changes everything about my day, it can take me from feeling like I can do anything the whole way down to feeling as if I have nothing left. Without food, we’d die; we’d die even sooner without water. Which is why I am drinking water all the time, I might give up my food but I will never give up water.

Tonight we made a huge stir fry for my weekend since we are going to the lake and I don’t really want to have to take the time to cook for myself when everybody else is enjoying the Thanksgiving meals. I will be able to eat at the same time so that I won’t feel as horrible about not having pumpkin pie and stuffing. That doesn’t mean I don’t think it won’t be a hard weekend for me. Watching everyone else eat amazing food and not being able to, this will probably bring another hard day. However, the hard days are the ones I actually look forward to the most. Even though they drain me of everything I have, I come out of them with a sense of accomplishment again. Knowing that nothing can stop me because I have what it takes to make a difference and start a change. Nevertheless none of that would be possible without God.

The whole point of this project is to be bringing me closer to God, to strengthen my relationship with him. I didn’t choose a hard task because I didn’t have a good relationship with him, but I am doing this because I wanted something that would help me realize what the people I lived around went through. God took me and my family to Malaysia for a reason and I will never forget that country and the other countries we visited. For me living there wasn’t enough, I want to actually know what it was like to be part of the poorer class. Since I was always just driving by in the taxi or on the bus and I didn’t have to go to bed hungry because the cafeteria and my mum feed us amazingly. Now that I think about those times I realize I could have made such a difference there. Instead of riding the bus to get to the mall to spend all my money on myself, I could have got off and played with the kids and put my money to better use to help them. However, I wasn’t thinking about them at that time. I was there solely for me.

This project isn’t for me at all or how my class requires it. It’s for them, for all the people I walked past and didn’t even give a simple smile too. This is for them, even though they will never know what I am giving up and how they have inspired this project. It’s all for them. So that they may get a spark of hope in their heart of a better life to come. It’s for the people who don’t have anything and know of people who have so much but aren’t willing to share. This is for the people who will always share their love, even when they haven’t been loved themselves. It’s for everyone who has seen me and the amount of stuff I think I need. This project isn’t mine anymore, its everybody else’s. I am just the one who is caring the load this time, taking it away from those who have had to carry it every other day of the year. This is for them.

Costco

After a day like yesterday I got in the morning and wasn’t too sure what I should be preparing for today. Luckily there wasn’t anything to get ready for. It was a great day! I felt great all day long, I was hyper and completely myself. I almost began to think that maybe there was something wrong with me bouncing back so easily after a hard day like yesterday. But I decided I need to enjoy today as much as I could because who knows when I will get another day like today where everything was normal.

I am now completely motivated by a wonderful goal. Mum came home from work with two Costco pumpkin pies and pizza’s to freeze until November 1. My first meal and all day of snacking with be on pie, pizza and milk. Sounds pretty much awesome to me! Now I just have to make it to November. Today that seems easy but who knows what tomorrow holds for me.

Sleeping Beauty

Yesterday was the roughest day yet. During every meal I wanted to quit. I didn’t want rice; I wanted anything and everything else I could eat. I felt hungry all the time, as if my stomach was being eaten from the inside. Unfortunately, it actually was. My body was beginning to realize I wasn’t planning on feeding it like I normally would. So it started to do what it had to do to feel better. Which really didn’t actually make me feel any better at all. I felt horrible and well I looked even worse. I was falling asleep with my eyes open that for sure isn’t normal. During lunch I decided that it was best if I went home. Once home I sleep for three hours, it was blissful. But sadly once I woke up again, I didn’t fell much difference, other than I wasn’t as tired. I still felt horrible and was beyond hungry with my stomach letting me know. I thought the four days before had been bad, but nothing compared to yesterday.

Looking back on the day now, I realize that it probably will be the hardest day I have, that doesn’t mean though that I won’t have other hard days. However, I don’t think any other any other day will be able to compare to yesterday. But those are the days that make a person stronger, build a persons character and for me brings me closer to God; which is the whole point of this project.

Starbucks

I woke up hungry; I ate my bowl of rice and was still hungry. I went all morning being very hungry. This has to be the hardest day yet. I imagine that this will be what the rest of the week will be like. Hungry all the time, I am not enjoying this at all. I came home from school wanting to give up, and stuff my face with ketchup chips, milk, pizza, Reese’s pieces, fuzzy peaches and to top it all off peanut butter and chocolate ice cream. All of my favourite things to eat, but I am not a quitter so I didn’t lucky.

During my English class, I saw a tall Starbucks cup. It looked like the best drink ever. There was wiped cream on top drizzled with chocolate. I felt like I was about to foam at the mouth over looking at this drink. I couldn’t even smell the drink; I was only looking at it from five desks down the row. This all sounds kind of pathetic but its how I was feeling. The hunger pains are intense and I am praying they will go away before Thanksgiving this weekend.

I was doing this to be able to know what third world families go through every day. But I realized that they probably won’t have the same pressures that I do. I see food that I want to eat plus I know of some greats foods too. The other families might not know of places like Starbucks, Boston Pizza and The Keg. Plus they have most likely always eaten the same foods, not had so much choice. They wouldn’t know what they are missing out on. Unlike me where I can see everything I am missing out on right in front of me.

In some ways I think this adventure is teaching me how to be more responsible on how much I am eating during my day. When I am bored, I eat; when I am sad, I eat; when I am hungry, I eat; when I’m happy, I eat, it kind of seems like I am always eating. However, food is just so good, that I almost can’t help myself. I am for sure learning how to have more self-control. I am controlling myself to only eat rice, not to drink anything other than water and most of all, not to cheat when I’m alone and it’d be so easy to. I’ve never thought that I had good self-control, but after this I’m almost positive I will have a ton of self-control in more than just the area of eating.

Pizza Pops

First day of school since I began this adventure. It was much easier than I thought it might be. I figured I’d have my normal hungry pains during second period (which is math). But I didn’t. The only part of the day that was very hard to get through was lunch. The smells of pizza pops, mini pizza, chicken fingers and macaroni filled every room and all the hallways. No matter where went I could smell yummy foods I could not have. It was brutal.

I realized over lunch hour that this will be the hardest part of this whole month. Watching people eat foods I love but cannot have, made me realized I am kind of stubborn but at the same time persistent. My mother thinks I am crazy, however I haven’t told her this yet but I get my craziness from her. J

Marshmallow Madness

I woke up this morning with a hungry pain like I’ve never felt before. I have never felt anything so painful in my life. It was horrible and the only thing I could think of was how I only had 28 days left! Yes, I have started counting down the days until I can use my Sweet Chili Sauce on everything I eat. November will be a wonderful month of enjoying every bit of food.

Breakfast and lunch were easy, just had to warm up the rice I made yesterday. It was a nice treat not having to make the rice. For supper I got some wonderful meat and lots of veggies. I felt like I was walking on clouds. To get through the day now I just have to think about how wonderful supper will be.

I had tired Sweet Potato once before. I was told it tasted like candy, after I heard that I was a little bit more excited to try it. This afternoon we made sweet potato for me to have at supper. The rest of the day as I smelt the other wonderful foods in our house that were being cooked I just had to think of the sweet potato I was getting at supper. Even though it didn’t really taste like candy, I still enjoy eating it now. I would have to say it is one of my favourite veggies now. Since we were cooking up a whole sweet potato, my mum took half of it for herself and I got the other half. In my mums half she put brown sugar, butter and marshmallows. It looked so wonderful and yummy. I now know what I will be craving for the next 28 days.

Brewed Awakening

The first day of my rice adventure is starting off kind of rough. I wake up at 5am and accidently looked at my clock. Once I look at my clock I can’t fall back to sleep so now I have been up since 5 this morning. With a start like that to my day, I know that day 1 will not be easy. However, things quickly changed when I had my first bowl of rice. I had made it seem so horrible to eat plain white rice in my mind. But actually it wasn’t that bad, I kind of enjoyed it. It was still a bit of a change, though I think it might not be such a bad change.  My water bottle hardly left my side today; I have already drunk enough water to fill an Olympic size pool. Which is 164ft in length and 82ft in width, that is a lot of water!

I went for coffee with a friend at Brewed Awakening this morning but I didn`t get a drink other than water. I sat as we talked and watched her drink her Chai Tea Latte. I don`t even like Chai Tea but just knowing I couldn’t have it just made me so sad. As if Chai Tea was one of the most wonderful things ever that was until I smelled someone else`s drink. I know for sure that there was coffee in it, which started my craving for coffee.

It is only day 1 and I have already been awaken to how much I love coffee. Something`s you just don’t realize until it`s too late. Like now for instance, I can`t have coffee for a month, a whole month without my true love will not be easy. I already miss coffee! I also think that my smelling sense has been heightened, because I could smell everything in our house. The coffee brewing, the egg sandwich, and all the spices when I opened the cupboard, will this last forever? Or is it just because I know I can`t have it that I can smell it better.