Day Dreaming

Today my mind was completely filled with dreams of November. Only 24 days left and well I can’t wait. The last day of this adventure will be a day of feeling very accomplished and proud of myself. But the next day I will feel even better. Knowing I can eat whatever I feel like changes everything about my day, it can take me from feeling like I can do anything the whole way down to feeling as if I have nothing left. Without food, we’d die; we’d die even sooner without water. Which is why I am drinking water all the time, I might give up my food but I will never give up water.

Tonight we made a huge stir fry for my weekend since we are going to the lake and I don’t really want to have to take the time to cook for myself when everybody else is enjoying the Thanksgiving meals. I will be able to eat at the same time so that I won’t feel as horrible about not having pumpkin pie and stuffing. That doesn’t mean I don’t think it won’t be a hard weekend for me. Watching everyone else eat amazing food and not being able to, this will probably bring another hard day. However, the hard days are the ones I actually look forward to the most. Even though they drain me of everything I have, I come out of them with a sense of accomplishment again. Knowing that nothing can stop me because I have what it takes to make a difference and start a change. Nevertheless none of that would be possible without God.

The whole point of this project is to be bringing me closer to God, to strengthen my relationship with him. I didn’t choose a hard task because I didn’t have a good relationship with him, but I am doing this because I wanted something that would help me realize what the people I lived around went through. God took me and my family to Malaysia for a reason and I will never forget that country and the other countries we visited. For me living there wasn’t enough, I want to actually know what it was like to be part of the poorer class. Since I was always just driving by in the taxi or on the bus and I didn’t have to go to bed hungry because the cafeteria and my mum feed us amazingly. Now that I think about those times I realize I could have made such a difference there. Instead of riding the bus to get to the mall to spend all my money on myself, I could have got off and played with the kids and put my money to better use to help them. However, I wasn’t thinking about them at that time. I was there solely for me.

This project isn’t for me at all or how my class requires it. It’s for them, for all the people I walked past and didn’t even give a simple smile too. This is for them, even though they will never know what I am giving up and how they have inspired this project. It’s all for them. So that they may get a spark of hope in their heart of a better life to come. It’s for the people who don’t have anything and know of people who have so much but aren’t willing to share. This is for the people who will always share their love, even when they haven’t been loved themselves. It’s for everyone who has seen me and the amount of stuff I think I need. This project isn’t mine anymore, its everybody else’s. I am just the one who is caring the load this time, taking it away from those who have had to carry it every other day of the year. This is for them.

Costco

After a day like yesterday I got in the morning and wasn’t too sure what I should be preparing for today. Luckily there wasn’t anything to get ready for. It was a great day! I felt great all day long, I was hyper and completely myself. I almost began to think that maybe there was something wrong with me bouncing back so easily after a hard day like yesterday. But I decided I need to enjoy today as much as I could because who knows when I will get another day like today where everything was normal.

I am now completely motivated by a wonderful goal. Mum came home from work with two Costco pumpkin pies and pizza’s to freeze until November 1. My first meal and all day of snacking with be on pie, pizza and milk. Sounds pretty much awesome to me! Now I just have to make it to November. Today that seems easy but who knows what tomorrow holds for me.

Sleeping Beauty

Yesterday was the roughest day yet. During every meal I wanted to quit. I didn’t want rice; I wanted anything and everything else I could eat. I felt hungry all the time, as if my stomach was being eaten from the inside. Unfortunately, it actually was. My body was beginning to realize I wasn’t planning on feeding it like I normally would. So it started to do what it had to do to feel better. Which really didn’t actually make me feel any better at all. I felt horrible and well I looked even worse. I was falling asleep with my eyes open that for sure isn’t normal. During lunch I decided that it was best if I went home. Once home I sleep for three hours, it was blissful. But sadly once I woke up again, I didn’t fell much difference, other than I wasn’t as tired. I still felt horrible and was beyond hungry with my stomach letting me know. I thought the four days before had been bad, but nothing compared to yesterday.

Looking back on the day now, I realize that it probably will be the hardest day I have, that doesn’t mean though that I won’t have other hard days. However, I don’t think any other any other day will be able to compare to yesterday. But those are the days that make a person stronger, build a persons character and for me brings me closer to God; which is the whole point of this project.

Starbucks

I woke up hungry; I ate my bowl of rice and was still hungry. I went all morning being very hungry. This has to be the hardest day yet. I imagine that this will be what the rest of the week will be like. Hungry all the time, I am not enjoying this at all. I came home from school wanting to give up, and stuff my face with ketchup chips, milk, pizza, Reese’s pieces, fuzzy peaches and to top it all off peanut butter and chocolate ice cream. All of my favourite things to eat, but I am not a quitter so I didn’t lucky.

During my English class, I saw a tall Starbucks cup. It looked like the best drink ever. There was wiped cream on top drizzled with chocolate. I felt like I was about to foam at the mouth over looking at this drink. I couldn’t even smell the drink; I was only looking at it from five desks down the row. This all sounds kind of pathetic but its how I was feeling. The hunger pains are intense and I am praying they will go away before Thanksgiving this weekend.

I was doing this to be able to know what third world families go through every day. But I realized that they probably won’t have the same pressures that I do. I see food that I want to eat plus I know of some greats foods too. The other families might not know of places like Starbucks, Boston Pizza and The Keg. Plus they have most likely always eaten the same foods, not had so much choice. They wouldn’t know what they are missing out on. Unlike me where I can see everything I am missing out on right in front of me.

In some ways I think this adventure is teaching me how to be more responsible on how much I am eating during my day. When I am bored, I eat; when I am sad, I eat; when I am hungry, I eat; when I’m happy, I eat, it kind of seems like I am always eating. However, food is just so good, that I almost can’t help myself. I am for sure learning how to have more self-control. I am controlling myself to only eat rice, not to drink anything other than water and most of all, not to cheat when I’m alone and it’d be so easy to. I’ve never thought that I had good self-control, but after this I’m almost positive I will have a ton of self-control in more than just the area of eating.

Pizza Pops

First day of school since I began this adventure. It was much easier than I thought it might be. I figured I’d have my normal hungry pains during second period (which is math). But I didn’t. The only part of the day that was very hard to get through was lunch. The smells of pizza pops, mini pizza, chicken fingers and macaroni filled every room and all the hallways. No matter where went I could smell yummy foods I could not have. It was brutal.

I realized over lunch hour that this will be the hardest part of this whole month. Watching people eat foods I love but cannot have, made me realized I am kind of stubborn but at the same time persistent. My mother thinks I am crazy, however I haven’t told her this yet but I get my craziness from her. J

Marshmallow Madness

I woke up this morning with a hungry pain like I’ve never felt before. I have never felt anything so painful in my life. It was horrible and the only thing I could think of was how I only had 28 days left! Yes, I have started counting down the days until I can use my Sweet Chili Sauce on everything I eat. November will be a wonderful month of enjoying every bit of food.

Breakfast and lunch were easy, just had to warm up the rice I made yesterday. It was a nice treat not having to make the rice. For supper I got some wonderful meat and lots of veggies. I felt like I was walking on clouds. To get through the day now I just have to think about how wonderful supper will be.

I had tired Sweet Potato once before. I was told it tasted like candy, after I heard that I was a little bit more excited to try it. This afternoon we made sweet potato for me to have at supper. The rest of the day as I smelt the other wonderful foods in our house that were being cooked I just had to think of the sweet potato I was getting at supper. Even though it didn’t really taste like candy, I still enjoy eating it now. I would have to say it is one of my favourite veggies now. Since we were cooking up a whole sweet potato, my mum took half of it for herself and I got the other half. In my mums half she put brown sugar, butter and marshmallows. It looked so wonderful and yummy. I now know what I will be craving for the next 28 days.

Brewed Awakening

The first day of my rice adventure is starting off kind of rough. I wake up at 5am and accidently looked at my clock. Once I look at my clock I can’t fall back to sleep so now I have been up since 5 this morning. With a start like that to my day, I know that day 1 will not be easy. However, things quickly changed when I had my first bowl of rice. I had made it seem so horrible to eat plain white rice in my mind. But actually it wasn’t that bad, I kind of enjoyed it. It was still a bit of a change, though I think it might not be such a bad change.  My water bottle hardly left my side today; I have already drunk enough water to fill an Olympic size pool. Which is 164ft in length and 82ft in width, that is a lot of water!

I went for coffee with a friend at Brewed Awakening this morning but I didn`t get a drink other than water. I sat as we talked and watched her drink her Chai Tea Latte. I don`t even like Chai Tea but just knowing I couldn’t have it just made me so sad. As if Chai Tea was one of the most wonderful things ever that was until I smelled someone else`s drink. I know for sure that there was coffee in it, which started my craving for coffee.

It is only day 1 and I have already been awaken to how much I love coffee. Something`s you just don’t realize until it`s too late. Like now for instance, I can`t have coffee for a month, a whole month without my true love will not be easy. I already miss coffee! I also think that my smelling sense has been heightened, because I could smell everything in our house. The coffee brewing, the egg sandwich, and all the spices when I opened the cupboard, will this last forever? Or is it just because I know I can`t have it that I can smell it better.